THE RANT! stopping smoking,low thyroid/ thyroid rash,bloated,weight gain,walking excersize and and and...

Hmmm...... I'll begin with, I am (or was) a 27 year smoker that had just recently stopped smoking cold turkey ( lawd, sounds like I am attending my Father's  AA meetings...  LOL) No but seriously, I recently just stopped smoking the day i found the 2 lines on my first pregnancy test (24th of September , 2014). I was gradually cutting down before I got pregnant ( I was down to 7 cigarettes  a day over a span of a year of just gradually cutting back, that's smoking about every 3.5 hours), I wasn't planning on getting pregnant as I kind of just gave up on the idea after last years miscarriage narowing it down to once in a life time dumb luck due to my 44 yr old age and being a smoker(pack a day ) and  always in self recovery of a long history of 32 years fighting an eating disorder (anorexia) and just started concentrating on myself for a change.


I had learned  through taking  my Tempurature each morning close to the same time every day, I used a regular fever themometer, not a basil body themometer. however i did indeed see when i was ovulating quite acurately . I just was trying to get a general idea of why I began packing on serious pounds and had an inkcling that it somehow had to do with my thyroid and the  blotchy skin on my chest, after i reached my 40's. I went from a petite 5ft.2in. 110(49.8kg)-120lbs(54.4kg) to a ballooning 148lbs(67.1kg)-160lbs. (72.5kg), low temps I mean very low temps, like 95.7 F(35.3C) and hardly ever above 97.1F(36.1C) and I  never complained of being cold, but I  always felt rather hot blooded. I learned this was a symptom of low thyroid after much and many years of Dr. Google research as I couldnt afford my  own healthcare, also I began to notice this strange blotchyness on my chest about in the area of where my thyroid is located, I call them chicken peck blotches, and they began to multiply slowly, one year  at 37 years old I began to notice them, where there was one and then a few more, I thought maybe they were blotches from me  occasionally poping a chest pimple and bursting tiny spider blood vessels to  come to the surface of my ivory skin from me sweating in the summer months of living in the  Nevada desert or possible sun spots.

I've had Doctors check my thyroid a number of times, and I am uncertain which tests they " said" they  had done, but  said that all came back normal and that perhaps I should change my diet and get more excersize, humph, I do not own car and everywhere i  ever need to go, i have to walk to or take public bus transit. I have an obsession of foods as it is, and instead of starving myself like i had done for  so many harmful years, i began a healthier relationship with  food, eatting less animal protein ( less animal protein not cutting it out completely, humans didnt get to the top of the food chain by being a vegetarian and our muscles need protein to maintain our bone density not just calcium) and more fruits and veggies and cutting out deserts and sweets all  together as a history of type II diabetes runs on my mothers side as well as obesity. Once realizing Doctors wont help me due to me being on government medical and not my own, it was down to me and my research abilities for me to heal myself.

I needed supplements, I began a regimine of taking extended release Vitamin B-100 complex. I was under alot of stress, this also helped with extending my luteal phase and had alot less bleeding ( Doctors wanted to give me a hysterectomy due to my having my periods so often and they became painful and heavy  clotting) i told them to  cut off their genitalia and see how well that goes for a quick fix years  down the road, i am not a cat or dog that needs to be spade, i needed help and i needed answers not a freaking mutilation operation .


I am fully against pharmacueticals that are man made after this ordeal with doctors and how they treat people in the  USA, it's about the almighty dollar , not the health and care of the person. but that is a whole other topic....

Had, I not learned  about taking my temp. each morning i wouldn't have discovered what a luteal phase defect even was do  the amount of reading i was doing on the TTC sites where i was lead, I wasnt trying to really conceive yet, just get my cycle back to normal so i could physically and mentally feel better,but the Trying to Conceive sites this is where i found the most useful information about the endoctrine system lol! The Vitamin B-100 complex extended release tablets helped out alot and extended my period gradually over the course of 6 months back to a healthy non painful normal 21-26 menstral cycle!

Now my boobs were leaking, what the hell? ummm during my monthly self breast exams, i would squeese my nipple to see if any discharge would come out,  where i got this idea, i have no idea , but decided to do it and green  colostrum came out, i was liek OMG i'm gonna die! i had a mamogram and it said all clear ( remember this is under government funded insurance ,  so what could be causing this nasty" green" boob milk? i was horrified!... okay Dr. Google,  tell me what i can find,, i found nothing about green colostrum after 21 years of not breastfeeding a baby... i am suddenly getting  this! negative pregnancy tests revealed i wasnt pregnant and menses on tract to 24 days apart on a good average... I read about Royal Jelly  for general health, i ran out and  got me some, i called GNC and told them to have a batch ready lol, after about 30 days  from last menstral cycle breast exam, squeezing the nipple white colostrum came out instead of green and along with each period month PMS and extreamly sore tender boobs.. well crap, okay white from green is an improvement but damn girl you've become a PMS insane scary woman!

Dr Google, what can i  do for  extream Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)? Chasteberry (Vitex) for menopause, what? now i am menopausal!??? lol I'm only 44yrs old, pre-menopausal perhaps but ugh..wholy moley this isnt getting any better is


back to the mall  to the GNC experts! A young man in this 30'somethings standing in the corridor of  the store,  me pacing back and forth embarrassed not wanting to talk to a kid nearly 15 yrs  give or take my junior...about my endoctrine system what woukld he know anyhow? I sadly under-estimated this educated young man... he asked " can i help you with finding something?" i wasnt even in the store yet! i said " yes, i am looking for chasteberry and i cant seem to find it unless i order it from the internet"

He said " oh we have that, my wife takes it  for low progesterone and luteal phase defect" my ears perked, married to a wife with my issues?  I said okay you have my attention now, he leads me to where i needed to be and told me to take two 500mg capsules each morning on an empty stomach. I found out why , i tried to take it after breakfast and i just  threw it all up including my breakfast, i am not sure if they is a normal side effect, but also soemthing  with  absorption? i dunno, i just followed his advice about the empty stomach thing  while taking Vitex.


So each morning on an empty stomach, i took my royal jelly for general wellness and for much needed amino acids and 10-HDA it helped with a general well feeling and more energy, my B-100 complex Vitamins extended  release for luteal phase defect and Vitex for hot flashes , night sweats and to  dry my green colostrum leaking boobs and possibly regulate my hormone levels a bit..

it works for me,  the blotchyness is fading,  and i felt alot better no more leaking  boobs with my  breast self exam, and my appitite was decreasing and i began to lose weight and started to fit into all my  cute jeans i  had saved when i was smaller, i was loosing inches and  feeling more like myself until one day i looked at my husband and while looking int he freezer after a long  hot day for the icecream, i was going to treat myself to a scoop for not smoking for the past  week and there wasnt  any, i just bought a pint! i flipped out by crying and not wanting  anything else, like I was 5 yrs old. I  almost broke  down and had a cigarette i think i did.... i dont truly remember, he said i was over reacting and jokingly said, " is your baby kicking?"

i must have given him a death stare as he stiffled a laugh as i pointed to him " that's one warning, Mr. smarty man" i secretly went out the next day for a pregnancy test. turnes out i got pregnant he was right. while trying to heal my poor tortured body that i had done to myself over the years. I guess all the antioxidents, and blending my fruits and veggies into a morning smoothy and excersizing and taking vitamins and Vitex, which i still take, as every week i see the blotches on my  chest getting lighter.

i call it my  thyroid rash and now  even my  Doctor has noticed the botches getting lighter, She told me to stop the vitex because   she thought i was taking  it for the progesterone factor,  and i said no i started  taking it for my thyroid and itchy skin because no-one would help me except give me  man made synthetcics that aggravate me and made me sick and i feel that mask the  problems not fix them.

but now with her own eyes, she is witnessing the positive side effects the Vitex is having on me and my  skin itchiness, ohh yeah another low thyroid symptom is  excessive skin itchiness and i am not talking just winter dry skin resovled with a dose of lotion ,  this was like  winter dryness all year  round for me and  a whole bottle of lotion wouldnt stop the itch nor benedryl or cortisone ,  the  scratching i would do  to myself could have cause a secondary infection if i wasnt careful about it.

Now about my pregnancy weight gain OMG this is a tender area for me and i get it each time i was pregnant with my sons...  as a petite 5'2" person I somehow went from this time around starting at approx.148lbs (67.1kg)sept.24th) to 157lbs(71.2kg)oct.21st) to a ballooning 165lbs(74.8kg)Nov.4th) that is 18.0 lbs.(8.1kgs) in a matter of 6 weeks!! I stepped into the Doctors office after a very very long while of waiting,, she looks at my chart and up at me as i am half naked in a half open paper gown " Hows your nausea been? Very little I see, did you see how much weight you've gained!?" I wanted to say ina  smart ass tone " uhh no, it never crossed my mind at all after eatting half a bag of halloween candy over the course of a weekend and recently quitting smoking" instead i opted for a more polite tone, I said " yes I know, i am horrified, with recently quitting smoking  cold turkey the day i found out i was  pregnant to Halloween weekend and no trick or treaters, well  i had a serious binge." my doctor must have felt bad with her presentation of how to  bring up my  weight , and i also added, "i have  low  thyroid too, but i  do not own a car and i take the  bus everywhere or i walk, and i eat mostly fruits and veggies from my blender, and whey protien shakes in the morning, if i had to add up my caloric intake i swear with what i intake i do burn off, i eat accordingly if ia m a couch potato i eat very light if at all and drink  plenty of fluids, if i had a busy run around day, as i  a normal grocery shooping day  would burn me 1000 calories in one trip walking 2.5 miles to the store or even riding the bus, i still have to walk to the bus stop which  is about 4-5 city  blocks one away from my door step.

I own 2 little dogs,  which i have to walk for 30 minutes twice a day.


If you have ever seen that movie called " Just Friends" where Chris and Jamie go to their towns favorate resturant for lunch and the rude fat waitress is pinching his cheeks calling him a "chubby bunny"  and says " well that is what you always used to  ordered" and chris says to the waitress,  "sure! back when  i was a whale!", looking at the  chocholate covered pancakes with icing and candie sweets  all over it before himk, Jamie scolds him by saying " ,you dont have to be rude!" Chris: " she's rude! she's rude! do you have any idea what  this will do  to my stomach?"

That is exactly  how i feel when my dear hubby says,  we can have hotdogs and or go to burger king for dinner if you want a night off from cooking....Are you  kidding me? do you even notice how FAT i am getting do you have any idea what that will do  to my stomach?!! LOL , i can see it, i can feel it! I'm  turning into Shamoo the whale!


however my blood pressure is quite nice 102/74. If i ate anywhere else but home with my own  cooking and no extra butter and just olive oil for cooking, i would be a side show, or feel like one.


All i can do at this point is keep walking and watch how much of this good food i am shoveling into my mouth... i wish i was normal, i wish i didnt have to work so damn hard to keep my weight at bay, i wish i could have a normal healthy  weight gain of 25 lbs(11.3kg) and a cute little basketball belly like i see some women in  the magazines have. but it is not that way  for me, however, i am happy and healthy and each  pregnancy is different  for me. i know the halloween candy and being terribly constipated and not having a BM for 3 days before my appointment , might have  made a difference, Meh........keep walking, keep blending your fruits and veggies and eat properly, is  all i can do..... and wear a blindfold and a nose plug all through these next holiday months,  lucky me lol


Thank you Lord for blessing the fruit of my womb and allowing me to create and carry and nurture life inside me again and trusting me with your most precious gift my dear Lord.

we love you little baby butter

1676 x read, 1

comments (0)

1 2 3

1 2 3