You know you're pregnant when...

You know you

If you say 'pregnant', you say 'change'. Not just your body changes, but your behavior (and that of others) changes. If you notice the following things, you really do not have to look at the growing belly to know that you are pregnant...

... you arrive at work with your slippers on;

... you make your husband sleep in the attic because he does not want to get any chicken wraps at 3 o'clock in the morning;

... thinking about his aftershave makes you sick;

... you urinate so much that you are considering buying a bedpan;

... you have pizza at half past six in the morning;

... you never had sandwiches with peanut butter and jam and chocolate sprinkles before;

... your keywords are limited to 'pregnant' + symptom + 'is this normal';

... you want to give someone a highfive with a chair when he just breathes;

... your pets can not be taken away from you;

... you are considering having a sofa bed delivered to your work;

... you have to take off your bra with the greatest care, because your breasts are so sensitive;

... you can't even look at your favorite meal;

... you have to give up on seeing your vagina;

... strangers touching your stomach;

... you just want to cry;

... you are totally exhausted when you have walked from the kitchen to the living room;

... you are already in bed at around 19.30 hours and fall asleep at 19.31 hours;

... you get heartburn if you think of spicy food alone;

... there isn't a room in the house that you haven't farted in in the last ten minutes;

... you just want to get angry;

... it takes half an hour for someone to get you out of bed;

... you have forgotten what your first child is called again;

... you've been covered with pimples for thirteen years;

... you have to ask someone to tie your laces;

... your husband congratulates you because you've been able to poop once again.

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