"When are you going to have children?" Stop asking!
It is usually well meant, but the question 'When are you going to have children?' can sometimes be very insensitive. The Australian mother Adele Barbaro therefore posted a post on Facebook to call others to be more cautious about asking this question. Her post went completely viral.
For Adele and her husband Paul it was not easy to have children. Eventually they sought medical help. Via IVF they got their son Harvey who is now two years old. She now has two children and she looks back on the process they have gone through to become pregnant. She remembered that strangers, friends and family all asked her - probably well-meant - when she thought she was going to become a mother. She decided to put a clear message on her Facebook page.
Here are some excerpts of her post:
"When you are having difficulty conceiving, it seems everyone around you is falling pregnant. It’s easy to be happy for them at first but that brave face wears thin after a while. I even started to decline going to certain get togethers and attending baby birthdays were just painful. I became quite bitter, desperate and depressed."
“IVF sucks. It is the most time-consuming, invasive, expensive and emotionally painful rollercoaster I have ever been on. It actually broke me.”
“So next time you go to give that ‘throw away’ comment to the newlyweds or those who have been married for ten years, be sensitive. Don’t ask them when they are having kids. You never know what is going on.”
Have you been hounded by those you love about your lack of children?