Rose Coach: Co-sleep or not?
Since IKEA introduced a kind of family bed, I hear more and more people wanting a super duper big bed where you and your partner can sleep, alongside one, two, or even three children. In other words: Co-sleeping
When a friend laughed and said that she thought it was something I'd love, I had to ask her why. "Well, your family are always sick, so you can all lie down and sleep it off together!" Lovely.
Not for me.
I would never go for such a bed, but it's entirely down to personal choice. It's not that the children are never allowed in bed with me, but definitely not there all the time! After all, if things are as they should be, more is done in that bed than sleeping: cuddling, making love, watching TV in the evening or reading a book. I could never give all that up
When is it?
But I am not against children in bed either. What would be wrong if your child is scared or ill and wants to lie in bed with you for a while? It is warm, sweet, wonderfully comforting to be so close and safe with your mum and dad? As long as you mention that it is an exception and that he or she needs to sleep in their own beds the other nights, it does not hurt.
If a child really needs safety and comfort, then I think you should try to give that as a parent. And if that means that he or she gets into bed for a number of nights, so be it. As long as it does not disturb your night's sleep and relationship, I personally feel that there is really nothing wrong with that. I think it can even be something very beautiful. Offering your child safety and comfort when it needs it is one of the most beautiful things you can do as a parent. These kinds of things ensure that your child develops trust in you. And then trust in themselves and the world around them, and that sounds like a good thing to me.
In other words: whatever your neighbor or mother-in-law may say, follow your feelings.