A brother or sister
A new member of the family can be a major upheaval, not only for parents but also for older siblings. It can be a frightening and confusing time for your child when they find out a new baby is on the way. While a new brother or sister is a wonderful gift to give your child, it may take time before they realise this.
It is normal that older children feel jealousy and in some cases will even act aggressively towards parents, the new baby or even to your growing tummy before baby is born. Children have difficulty expressing their fears and emotions and this can result in them making harsh statements, such as "I do not want a brother, I want him to die". Keep in mind that your little one never literally means what it says at that moment. They are simply trying to defend their place within the family. Obviously, while these outbursts are difficult for parents to hear, you should realise this is just a reaction to this new situation your child finds itself in and should not be taken literally.
Pregnant women also sometimes wonder if they will love their next child as much as they love the others. These are also normal feelings that many pregnant women experience. Deep inside, they know that they will love both children equally. Love for children does not get divided, but time does.
Preparations
The best thing to do is ensure your children are involved in the pregnancy from the beginning. While it is difficult to prepare them for something which is not here yet, there are simple steps you can take to prepare your child for the new arrival. Follow their direction, answer their questions and make them feel part of the experience.
- When you go for a scan ask the midwife if your child can come along. Seeing the baby on the ultrasound scan, listening to it's heartbeat may not only reassure them but fill them with a sense of wonder and excitement. Ask if they want their own photograph of the scan which they can show to friends and look at when they feel unsure or confused.
- Take your child with you when you shop for baby and let them choose something for the baby and for themselves
- Perhaps you can talk with them about names and let them suggest some of their own for their new brother or sister.
- There are a number of books available which can help prepare your child for this new baby. Examples include:
- - A baby coming, by William and Martha Sears
- - Waiting for baby & You and me, by Rachel Fuller
- - The new baby, by Lie Dirckx
- - Topsy and Tim, the new baby, by Gene and Gareth Adamson
A few tips for after birth
- When friends and family visit the new baby, ask them to bring a small gift for your other children too.
- If the visitor is cuddling with baby, you can cuddle with the siblings, so that they know that they too still belong.
- Do not rush them into playing nice with the new baby. It may take time for them to see them as playmates or friends.
- Involve older children in taking care of the baby. Let them help with changing a diaper or when baby is being bathed.
- It is great for the oldest when there are occasional private moments with you. Make time to play just with him, and get him a little reward to show how proud you are that he's helping with baby.
Related categories (1)
Most read information articles
-
1st trimester (Bloodloss)
Many women suffer from some slight bleeding in early pregnancy. Normally, women who have had slight bleeding in the first trimester have no problems during the further pregnancy. A little blood loss can be normal, but it is sometimes a cause for conc......(134700 x) Read more » -
Stomach cramps
Babies get tummy cramps. They come and go many times. It's no fun for parents either; you can see your little one in pain, the crying doesn't seem to stop, and sometimes it seems like there's nothing you can do to help. Bowel cramps oc......(120017 x) Read more » -
Pregnancy symptoms
It is important during pregnancy to know the difference between normal symptoms and those which should be reported to your midwife or doctor. Below is a list of the most common symptoms experienced by pregnant women. Areola around the nipples get ......(84443 x) Read more » -
Mucus plug
During pregnancy, a mucous membrane forms in your uterus. The mucous membrane prevents infections of your uterus. The mucous membrane will remain in place until you give birth. When labour starts, the cervix is stretched and softer. This can c......(63355 x) Read more » -
Empty days (Breastfeeding)
If you are breastfeeding, you will probably wake up early and go to bed late in the early days. Your milk production is not yet set to your baby's demands. Moms often feel uncertain during these "empty" days; baby seems insatiable and y......(62598 x) Read more » -
Feeding
For the first six months, breastfeeding or complete infant formula will usually provide your baby with enough nutrients. The amount of food a baby needs is always different for each child. According to pediatricians, you can use the following guideli......(60880 x) Read more » -
Stillbirth (Loss)
If you lose your child after the 16th week, or your child dies during childbirth, this is officially classed as a "stillbirth". It's a tragic and often traumatic experience for parents. A mix of emotions are involved; anger, guilt, sadn......(57071 x) Read more » -
Development of the foetus
An interactive video of the development of your baby. Slide the sliders to see the growth! The first picture shows the growth from 0 to 8 weeks, the second the growth from 8 to 40 weeks. You may also like this animated gif: ......(56828 x) Read more » -
2nd trimester (Bloodloss)
Occassionaly you may have some blood loss during your second trimester. Common causes include cervical growth or inflammation. Bleeding can pose a threat to both the mother and the unborn child. The most common cause of severe vaginal blood loss duri......(54419 x) Read more » -
Teeth
First teeth Generally, babies get their first teeth between 5 and 9 months. Normally, the first two are bottom incisors, followed by the top two, then the teeth to either side. All eight cutting teeth usually come through when the baby is 8 ......(51727 x) Read more » -
Sleep (Sleep during pregnancy)
During your pregnancy, you may have more difficulty sleeping than usual. A larger abdomen, heartburn, anxiety, back pain and shortness of breath lead to less sleep. You can get frustrated about the lack of good sleep. Yet sleep is very necessary......(50361 x) Read more » -
Checklist baby outfits (Checklists)
When you're pregnant you need to spend a lot of time and money, because the new little addition to your family will need a lot more than you first think! What will you need? Well, print this handy checklist so you don't forget anything! &n......(49927 x) Read more » -
Skin changes
The increase in hormones during pregnancy as well as other factors can result in changes to your skin which can include: "Pregnancy glow" You may get a radiant glow over your face. Your face seems to blush because you have more bl......(49200 x) Read more » -
Pregnancy after 35
Women are increasingly choosing to become pregnany at a later age. This has several reasons; work and career, still busy with study or promotion, no suitable partner, financial worries. The average age at which women have their first child increased ......(45153 x) Read more » -
Reflux in babies
Milk-spitting isn't the same as reflux Many newborns may spit out or dribble a mouthful of milk after they've been fed. They can drink more than they can handle, and some of it comes right back up. This little bit of returned is ......(41763 x) Read more » -
Gender of the baby
Dr. Landrum Shettles was a pioneer in fertility techniques. He was involved very early in experiments in which ova could be fertilized in a laboratory. He has also researched for years to influence the sex of babies. He also wrote a book about it, wh......(41104 x) Read more » -
Coughing and choking
It's well known that babies put "everything" in their mouths. They do this to explore their surroundings. Small objects can be dangerous to children (especially young children), the objects may become clogged in the trachea, res......(40781 x) Read more » -
Clustering (Breastfeeding)
Clustering is a common term within the breastfeeding world. In short, it means that a child wants to drink at a certain time of the day, or sometimes even more often, with you. Sometimes a child wants to be at the breast continuously. It is completel......(39917 x) Read more » -
Fluid retention (edema)
It's normal for your body to retain excess water during pregnancy. This can be on average 2 to 3 liters. In the last month, especially, this is very noticeable; symptoms include swollen hands, feet and face. Even in warm weather, you will retain ......(39852 x) Read more » -
Conceiving 30 tips
If you want to use a lubricant then use PreSeed. When you are dry the sperm have less chance of swimming up, PreSeed provides a comfortable environment for the sperms to swim through. Eat green leafy vegetables with plenty of folic acid, and thi......(39699 x) Read more » -
Sex (Safety during pregnancy)
Sex during pregnancy Many people worry that having sex during pregnancy will somehow harm or disturb the baby. Although perhaps the mechanics, especially as you get further on in your pregnancy, may prove challenging, there is no reason couples cann......(37588 x) Read more » -
Breasts
Pregnancy and breast changes: During your pregnancy, your breasts are temporarily a little bigger. The following breast changes are normal: The breasts feel fuller and are more sensitive because pregnancy hormones p......(37336 x) Read more » -
Pregnancy tests
When can you take a pregnancy test? Urine tests can take place one day before the next period starts. Blood tests can be done at 6 to 8 days after ovulation. Pregnancy tests work by checking your urine for a hormone called human chori......(37258 x) Read more » -
Hypotension (Blood pressure)
Your blood pressure depends on age, weight and health. Average blood pressure is 120/80 (120 over 80). The first number is systolic pressure. This indicates how high the arterial pressure is and when the blood is pumped into the arteries every heart ......(36708 x) Read more » -
Jaundice
The cause of the yellow color of the skin and mucous membranes is the substance bilirubin. This substance is released by red blood cell degradation. The baby has much more red blood cells than an adult in the womb. The red blood cells also ......(36620 x) Read more » -
Pelvic instability
Experiencing pain in your pelvic region is another symptom of pregnancy and quite normal. Research shows that 50 to 60% of women suffer from pelvic pain or low back pain. Early in pregnancy, hormones make the pelvis more flexible. In addition, the......(36402 x) Read more » -
Vaginal infections (Tests before pregnancy)
Normally the vaginal discharge is whitish or slightly transparent in color and feels slimy and sticky. In pregnancy it is normal that the amount and thickness of the secretions vary greatly. Most women have more discharge than normal during pregnancy......(36012 x) Read more » -
Foreskin (Baby care)
The penis primarily consists of what could be called a stem and an acorn. The "acorn" tip is very sensitive and protected by a thin fold of skin. In some boys this covering is complete, while in other boys the covering is only partial. I......(35816 x) Read more » -
During a twin pregnancy (Twins)
Approximately 3 out of every 100 pregnancies is a twin or multiple pregnancy. Normally during your first ultrasound scan it will be determined whether you are having more than one baby although it may take the entire nine months for you to get over t......(34206 x) Read more »
Guide to rashes, bumps and spots
The condition of the skin of your child is often a good signifier of their health, and many symptoms of diseases show themselves upon it. Perhaps that rash is a disease, maybe heat rash or an allergy? In the guide below you will find a descripti......
(291191 x) Read more »
Popular topics
Popular blogs